Grow

That's it, that is all I want to do. All I feel I am called to do. I have a golden opportunity here. I am young and retired. I can make a fresh start. Doing a job that speaks to me. That makes me happy. That doesn't feel like work. There are only 2 things that fall into that category for me.

1. I want to be a wife & mother that is at home most of the time. I love being able to be there for my husband when he needs an encouraging word. I love being there for my boys when they get home from school or if they have a problem. I love being able to talk to my girl when she needs me. I love cooking healthy meals & taking care of my home. When I had my more than full time job everything was a chore. Everything. I had no time, no patience and no joy. I was cranky and even though I was doing my best, not a good wife or mother. I was very good at my job though. I felt that my family was number one because I was providing a good life for them. But my kids came home to an empty house everyday. There were times when, because of work, I could not stop what I was doing to talk to them. And instead of being able to be a support to my husband when he needed it, I had my own job stresses to dish. And finding God, God was nowhere to be found in my life. Now, things are different. I am taking my time to find the right career. I am spending time with my family. I am finding myself again. It's not easy most of the time but I am growing.


2. I want to have a job that allows me to create the things in my head using the things in my hands. Be it paper, wood, bits of string or fabric I want to make pretty things with them. But the #1 requirement for my job is that I can keep #1 at #1. I don't want to sacrifice my family for business. I want to travel, a lot, but it would be nice to take them with me. I want my schedule to be flexible. I want to be excited about what I am doing & sharing. I don't ask for much do I?

All of this is coming from deep inside of me. Lately, I feel that my emotions are my skin and that I don't want to "have to do" for the rest of my life. I want to feel everything when I feel it, not later when I have time.